one plus one is less than three

Saturday, May 24, 2003:

whoa interesting... just visited emode to do something to get my mind off this b4 i sleep.. first test there: "what's behind your emotions"


What's Behind Your Emotions?





Invite your friends!

Email Addresses:










Samuel Chu, your emotions are triggered by your underlying belief in Loyalty

In other words, your uncompromisingly loyal nature directly affects how, and how often, you experience certain feelings.

For example, your test results indicate that you're most fulfilled when you can connect on a meaningful level with friends, family, and others in your community. That factor is directly related to your fundamental belief in loyalty and the range of emotions it triggers.

Based on your belief in loyalty, where do you rank in the emotional landscape? Which of your emotions dominate your life? And how can you learn to control your emotions?


Loyalty eh? I'll make a post about that tomorrow.



Sam // 3:07 AM

______________________

as i sit in ro healing... i feel like reflecting.. but i'm afraid that the obeaunes will come eat me..o well.. they removed death penalty.. presumably due to lag.. but 99.1%.. arghhhh.. anyway.. here's how i feel right now.. #1 priority. Start getting over kim. I dont' particularly want to.. but what I want and what I need are different. Why do i feel i need to start getting over her? not really sure.. but i hope to explore the here, if i have the ..goodness can't even think of the word for having a large vocubalry... ah there we go.. if i'm verbose enough to do so (anyone have a noun rather than an adj?)... Ok first reason, I'm starting to get obsessive/paranoid over her. I'm always worried that I'll say something stupid, not realize it and annoy her/iss her off. As lame as it sounds, I can't stand the thought that she may be pissed off at me without me knowing it. The main reason I worry about this is because it's happened in the past with other friends. I make some joke or super weridass comment or something that becomes misinterpreted and totally annoys the hell outta them. Going along the lines of this obsessive/paranoid behavior, is reason #2 I need to get over her: she has too much control over my emotions. Seeing her come online/talking to her online makes me unbelievably happy and when I'm not talking to her or she signs off, I fscking get all sad and dissappointed. Do I like feeling this way? Hell no. Nord do I wnat to. Yet, I don't know how to control my emotions. So bascially to sum it up, since I'm exhausted, logically, I know I shouldn't like her; that's there no real point to it and that it's causing me emotional highs and lows that I don't want to deal with. However I can't make my heart obey my head and it's frustrating. I feel so helples...powerless to change my life for the better. So in order to stop feeling retarded, I need to move on. Now the problem question is how do I do it.

I may post more on this later, I may not.. hell I may even delete this post.. we'll see what happens.
Good night all


Sam // 3:01 AM

______________________